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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26274136">this great, unstable mass of blood and foam</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/goinghost/pseuds/goinghost'>goinghost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>autoclave - shapeshifter au [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Penumbra Podcast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Light Angst, Other, Peter Nureyev's Onion-like Layers, again just the one, i keep writing fics that fit that tag lmao, only peter though, set in season one</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:00:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,946</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26274136</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/goinghost/pseuds/goinghost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The note read: </p><p>Juno,<br/>I haven’t been entirely honest with you about more than just my identity. This face is not my own. You may have noticed my lapse when we kissed, but my appearance is like many things in life, ever shifting. I’m not sure you’ll ever see Rex Glass’ face again, but I hope we’ll still encounter each other out there one day. </p><p>--</p><p>A world where Peter Nureyev disguises himself with more than just makeup.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>autoclave - shapeshifter au [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1923808</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this great, unstable mass of blood and foam</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23180827">the great gift of a burden</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesphantasmal/pseuds/aesphantasmal">aesphantasmal</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>first off this fic would not exist without both my roommate being incredibly encouraging (love you levi!) and the amazing superpower au by aesphantasmal and Captain_Aurinko, which got the idea of nureyev being a literal shapeshifter into my head and wouldn't let it out! this fic is much different from the ones in that series but credit where credit is due! </p><p>title from 'autoclave' by the mountain goats, which my roommate put on his peter nureyev mix and made me cry so i've decided to share that feeling with all of you. </p><p>cw for implied sexual content a la final resting place. it's just the one sentence directly after the sentence that starts, "They could just be...."</p><p>also possible cw for brief instances of body horror every time juno sees nureyev shift. i tried really hard not to describe it in a gross way but he is turning into another person so it might be strange</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Juno didn’t trust Agent Rex Glass as far as he could throw him. </p><p>There was something off about the man that Juno couldn’t put his finger on. He felt slippery, and not in the way that all secret agents of a shadowy agency that acted outside the law felt slippery. The longer they were acquainted, the more Juno realized that Glass was learning about him, but he still knew almost nothing about Glass. </p><p>It wasn’t just that. There was something strange about the way he looked, like his smile sat too perfectly on his face. The shape of his eyes seemed to be made for those dark sunglasses. It was like he’d carefully constructed his appearance to accentuate his features and make him more attractive. </p><p>Not that Juno found him attractive. That was just an objective observation. Some easy detective work he’d done. Shut up. </p><p>When he’d brought Rex up to his place he’d known it was a stupid idea, but the part of him that was always curious, always picking up clues, had to try to figure him out. As Juno poured himself some whiskey he cast his mind back to everything that had happened at the Kanagawas. Rex stood there and quipped and Juno quipped back because what the hell else was he supposed to do. </p><p>He tried to talk him out of it, whatever <em> it </em>was. He really did. But Rex Glass or whoever the hell he was made his choice and Juno Steel made his. </p><p>When he’d kissed him it had been a helluva kiss. The world stopped turning with Juno and Rex dead center, touching in a way Juno hadn’t felt in a long time. Everything shifted into place with Juno’s hands on his face and Rex’s hands in Juno’s coat. And then Juno realized that something really was shifting. There was something going on with Rex’s face under his hands, like it was a mask that was falling off. </p><p>He didn’t open his eyes, just maneuvered his handcuffs onto those thin wrists and silently said goodbye to the sleep he was going to lose thinking about Rex’s lips on his. </p><p>When he looked, the mask or whatever it had been was back in place. Rex stared at him with the composure of someone who still thought he had the upper hand even after he’d been caught in the act. Juno didn’t want to think about why that was. </p><p>It wasn’t until he’d left with the HCPD officers and he’d found that damn note in between his cushions that Juno realized. Reading it had made him need to catch his breath, and not just because of the name <em> Peter Nureyev </em>signed it with. </p><p>The note read: </p><p>
  <em> Juno, </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I haven’t been entirely honest with you about more than just my identity. This face is not my own. You may have noticed my lapse when we kissed, but my appearance is like many things in life, ever shifting. I’m not sure you’ll ever see Rex Glass’ face again, but I hope we’ll still encounter each other out there one day.  </em>
</p><p>It went on to tell Juno exactly where he was planning to escape the cops who’d taken him into custody. Juno barely registered it until after he’d finished reading about the adventure Nureyev had wanted them to have. </p><p>He scrambled to his monitor and checked the feeds Nureyev had outlined for him. Gone, though he’d left a mark on the side of the road in the form of the hog-tied police officers. When Juno didn’t find the key to his safe he had to sit down. He was so angry at himself for letting Nureyev get away that he forgot just how he’d known to look at those monitors. </p><p>Hours later, while he was at the bottom of a bottle of whiskey and trying not to let his pounding head get in the way of his self-loathing, Juno pulled the note out and read it again. It didn’t make sense. That kind of thing wasn’t possible. There couldn’t be someone running around the galaxy who could change what they looked like and that person couldn’t be a master criminal and Juno couldn’t have let him get away with something worth more creds than a year’s rent for his shitty apartment. </p><p>(And he couldn’t have kissed Juno Steel).</p><p>But Juno had felt that strange mask give way—what Nureyev claimed was Rex Glass’ appearance—into a new shape entirely. And for once in his life he hadn’t given in to his detective instincts like an idiot. Maybe then he’d have some kind of answer. Who was Peter Nureyev? If what he’d written was true, what did he really look like? </p><p>When he finally passed out on his lumpy couch that night, he couldn’t help but try to picture the man he shouldn’t have wanted to see again. </p><hr/><p>The next time Juno saw Peter Nureyev, he didn’t look like Rex Glass. </p><p>When Juno had gotten back to his apartment, he’d been on edge. The Hyperion City skyline shining through his window had illuminated a silhouette on his couch and his first instinct was to grab his blaster until he’d smelled a whiff of familiar cologne. Of course. </p><p>For their shaky conversation in Juno’s apartment, he insisted on keeping to the wide shadows cast by the buildings surrounding them. When Juno turned on the light, he got a few seconds glimpse at what he thought was Peter Nureyev’s real face before the shift happened. He hadn’t seen Nureyev’s face change last time and it was...weird (and oddly beautiful, not that Juno would tell anyone <em> that </em> particular thought). Juno remembered back to the days when he spent more time tripping then being sober. You saw fractals everywhere, geometric patterns of all colors and strange shapes. Watching Nureyev shift was a little something like that. The planes of his face seemed to splinter and pulse until they rearranged themselves into something new. Suddenly Juno was looking at another man entirely. </p><p>That man, he found out, was named Duke Rose. Duke Rose had hair more brown than Rex Glass’ registration black. His face was softer, with filled-out cheeks and a rounder chin. This fake person wore glasses with obnoxious red frames and his face seemed to be made for his guileless smile, which made sense considering it was. Apparently he was married to Dahlia Rose. And apparently Juno was Dahlia Rose.</p><p>(He’d thrown a fit about that, but what else was he gonna do? Nureyev could literally turn into different people, of course he’d be good at undercover work. No matter how much Juno wanted to, he couldn’t be anyone else but Juno fucking Steel.)</p><p>He had to admit, watching Nureyev shift into Duke made it clear that it wasn’t just about Nureyev being physically able to alter his appearance. He became someone totally new, not just because his face was shaped differently or his voice was higher, but because he kept spinning the ring on his finger and used pet names like they were going out of style. Duke Rose was an entirely different man from anyone Juno had already met who stood in the same place as Peter Nureyev. It was impressive, he guessed, but it didn't do anything to make Juno trust him any more.</p><p>Nureyev kept going on about that: trust. As if it were something so freely and easily given that Juno could just hand it to him on a silver platter. He had his name, sure, and Nureyev didn’t seem to want to let Juno forget that, but Juno didn’t even know what the guy actually looked like! </p><p>Backed into a corner, Nureyev had just bowed his head, “My appearance is not the issue here, Juno. I’ve given you everything you need to betray me by sharing my name, yet I have <em> trust </em>that you will choose not to. Why can’t you say the same of me?” </p><p>Juno snorted, “Because I know that if someone finds out your name you can disappear like you’ve never existed. No one will ever see Duke Rose’s face again. But people love trying to kill Juno Steel, and I’m not getting out of anything so easy.”</p><p>Nureyev’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. It was the first time Juno had been able to catch him off guard since the night he’d arrested him (and that wasn’t even because of the arresting, it had been...the other thing). “That...that makes sense—why you would feel that way. Very well. If that is what it takes for you to trust me, then tomorrow when we’re far away from prying eyes I will show you what I look like.” </p><p>“Yeah, I believe that,” Juno rolled his eyes. “Newsflash, Nureyev but we’re doing the whole trust schtick right now or not at all. In case you hadn’t realized, my life is on the line out there. I’d like some collateral too.” </p><p>Nureyev didn’t seem to know what to say to that, but in the end he didn’t have to respond. Valencia came to get them before he could do anything else. Just Juno’s luck. </p><p>The rest of the game went off without a hitch if you didn’t count all the hitches. Juno couldn’t stop thinking about what Nureyev had promised him. Fat chance of that happening unless Juno made sure it did. </p><p>As soon as they made it to their hotel room, he whirled on Nureyev, pointing his finger in his face. “Don’t think just because we got what we were after, I don’t still want to see what you really look like.”</p><p>Nureyev didn’t look startled by this at all. In fact, he looked resigned, like Juno had just reminded him of the countdown clock hanging over his head. <em> Good, </em>Juno thought, but it didn’t exactly feel good. </p><p>“I’m still not sure what good you think knowing my true appearance will be. You already know who I am.” </p><p>Oh no, no way Juno was letting him talk his way out of this one. “I don’t, actually. I’m pretty sure everything you’ve told me today is bullshit, but you can’t bullshit your face.” Juno turned to walk further into the room and sat on the bed. “So do it, sooner rather than later.” </p><p>Nureyev sighed. He followed after Juno and stayed standing in front of him, posture confident and straight-backed, but Juno could tell how much he wished he was doing anything else. Join the club. </p><p>Without a word, the face of Duke Rose began to shift away. Peter Nureyev’s eyes grew sharper, his chin coming to more of a point. His hair switched back to black, although it looked more like the wing of a crow than the ink of a printer like Rex Glass’ had. He had pronounced cheekbones, but not as pronounced as the agent Juno had met him as. It was as if all the angles of Rex Glass had been muted and subdued, leaving an entirely new face in their place. The guileless smile of Duke Rose was replaced by the hard set of slightly thinner lips and slightly sharper teeth. Juno had a hard time taking his eyes off those teeth. </p><p>It was over in just a few seconds. Suddenly Juno was sitting in the hotel room with someone who hadn’t been made up however long before. Peter Nureyev appeared resolute, but Juno could see his hands twitching, like he wanted to fidget but didn’t want to give himself away. As Juno stared at him, he stared back. His eyes were different too, not just the shade (which was now a deep brown that was almost black as opposed to Duke’s hazel), but the sheen to them. They looked like fox’s eyes, tricky and clever and perfectly capable of killing. </p><p>Juno wasn’t sure he wanted to know what those eyes had seen. </p><p>A moment passed where neither of them spoke. Then, just like that, Peter Nureyev melted away and was replaced by Dahlia Rose’s husband once again. Juno felt the change as if he’d dunked his head in ice water, “That’s it?”</p><p>“Yes, detective. You’ve seen what I really look like. Now may we go to bed?”</p><p>But Juno had more to say. Because his appearance wasn’t the only reason he didn’t trust Nureyev. He brought up the drawings he’d found, he accused Nureyev of selling him out. Nureyev, of course, had an explanation for everything. </p><p>It frustrated Juno to no end, the way he seemed to always be two steps ahead of him. Juno made a career out of his ability to know what had happened in the past, but he wasn’t always the best at figuring out what was going to happen next. Nureyev proved that time and time again by managing to be an unpredictable bastard at every turn. </p><p>After he’d left a message for Rita, he didn’t feel any better. When he got back in the room, Nureyev had made himself comfortable under the blankets and the light was out. Fine. Juno could play that game too. </p><p>He didn’t even bother taking off the suit Nureyev had foisted on him, just untied the tie and kicked off his shoes. After a second of debate, he slipped off the jacket and threw it on the floor. In its place, he shrugged on his coat. Wearing a trenchcoat to sleep wasn’t exactly the most comfortable, but he wanted to be ready for anything. </p><p>Taking care not to get close enough to touch the man, Juno climbed into bed with Nureyev. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but he could still smell that cologne as if they’d just kissed. Ugh. There was no way Juno was getting any sleep tonight. Not when he couldn’t stop picturing Peter Nureyev’s fox-like eyes. </p><hr/><p>Down in that Martian tomb, Juno wasn’t sure he’d ever see Peter Nureyev’s real face again. </p><p>The minute Miasma had caught them in the desert, Nureyev had shifted to someone else, someone Juno had never seen before with green eyes and arching eyebrows and a long nose. Juno didn’t understand why he’d done it right in front of the gun her assistant was pointing at him until she’d said, “Ah, so that’s what it looked like. I wondered.”</p><p>If they hadn’t been actively getting kidnapped, Juno would’ve shouted at Nureyev, “She knew? How did she know?” But as it stood, he just gave a surprised grunt. </p><p>He managed to keep her from killing Nureyev and she took them down to her lair or whatever word you should use for the Ancient Martian hideout that she’d infiltrated and used for her own villainous purposes. </p><p>It quickly became clear that Miasma was planning on working Juno to death with her weird machine hooked up to his brain. The intense pain and suffering was just an added bonus. One thing that didn’t become clear was the way Nureyev looked like a completely different person every time Juno saw him. </p><p>The first few days while he was acclimating to the whole torture thing. Juno was too out of it to say anything, but three days in he realized how tired he was of the momentary shock of seeing a stranger sitting next to him when he woke up in the tomb. “Do you have to do that?”</p><p>“Hmm?” The man Juno knew was Nureyev gazed at him with a face he didn’t recognize. This guy had light silver hair and none of the bags that Juno knew should’ve been under his eyes. “Do what?”</p><p>“Keep changing,” Juno gestured to Nureyev’s whole thing, “You always look different when I wake up. Why not pick someone and stick to it?”</p><p>Nureyev looked startled by the question, as if he hadn’t considered it would bother Juno. Yeah, him and Juno both. He didn’t know why it was making him feel so angry, but he knew he wanted it to stop. Maybe Nureyev thought hearing tortured screams in all kinds of voices made it easier. Maybe torture chamber tomb life just wasn’t exciting enough without switching up his appearance too. Whatever it was, it annoyed the hell out of Juno. </p><p>“When I stay in one form for too long it can become...difficult to maintain. I can become complacent and let details slip. One of my eyes might shift back or my chin might change, things like that. Eventually all of it could slip in my sleep if I’m not careful.” Nureyev looked like he was searching for the right words for a moment, “By shifting frequently I can stay vigilant—aware and in control of my body and what it looks like.”</p><p>For once Juno didn’t have a quip to respond to that, “Huh.” </p><p>Nureyev suddenly bowed his head, “Apologies, Juno. I wasn’t aware it would bother you. I’ve never had to explain myself to anyone in this way before.” </p><p>“Yeah, well, I guess it doesn’t matter that much,” Juno said awkwardly. He didn’t want to see Nureyev looking like that anymore, even if it was some other person’s face. He looked away. </p><p>They sat together in silence for a few more moments. Miasma’s assistants would be by any second to take them to those weird adjoining rooms, but right now they could sit and...feel really fucking awkward. </p><p>Once Juno couldn’t take it anymore he opened his big mouth and said, “So she doesn’t know what you look like then? Miasma?”</p><p>Immediately Nureyev stiffened. He played it off well but Juno had those sharpshooting eyes and he noticed the tension before it melted away. “No, she does not. I’m not even sure how she was made aware of what I can do in the first place. It’s not exactly a point of advertisement for me.”</p><p>“Wait, you didn’t tell her?”</p><p>“Why on Earth would I do that?” Nureyev said, looking at him with an expression that Juno would call “fondly chiding” and then probably jump out a window if the option were available to him. </p><p>“I don’t know,” Juno said dumbly, “I guess I just couldn’t figure out how she knew otherwise.”</p><p>Nureyev smiled thinly, it was an expression that sat weirdly on this face, “Well, perhaps once we get out of this mess I’ll hire you to investigate.”</p><p>“Like I’d work for you,” Juno snorted. </p><p>“Oh, Juno, I don’t even get the friends and family discount?”</p><p>“Nope,” Juno popped the ‘p’ and it echoed loudly off the walls of their cell, “Steel Investigations doesn’t have one. For that I’d have to have friends.” He stared at the strange markings on the wall, “Or family.” </p><p>By the time Juno’s eyes got around to looking at Nureyev again, he had a strange expression on his face. Juno almost couldn’t take it. “Juno, I want you to know that I am so sorry that I’ve gotten us into this mess.” </p><p>Juno blinked. That had not been what he’d been expecting Nureyev to say. <em> What? </em>“What?”</p><p>“If I hadn’t roped you into this job, Miasma would not have had the means to kidnap you in the desert. I apologize for the part I played in getting you trapped here with me.” </p><p>“Look,” Juno started. He wasn’t sure where he was going with it but he said, “She obviously wants whatever this thing in my head is. She would’ve gotten me eventually. At least now I’m not losing my mind alone.” And just because the sincerity was giving him heartburn, he added, “No matter how obnoxious the company is.” But he couldn’t fight a small smile off his face. Gross, he really hoped he hadn’t sounded as <em> fond </em>as he felt. </p><p>Nureyev didn’t seem to know what to make of that. He held Juno’s gaze with that strange expression still fully broadcasted. Just when he opened his mouth to reply, the door opened with a mechanical hiss. In walked two of Miasma’s assistants there to take them to another day of feeling like something was carving a statue out of his brain and listening to Nureyev scream in pain in an all new pitch. Fun for the whole family. </p><p>Minutes later, when they were both strapped into their respective places, Juno wondered what he would have said.</p><hr/><p>Nureyev made it another week (although it was hard to keep track of time) before he slipped. </p><p>Well, he didn’t so much as slip as fall face first into the dirt. Trust him, Juno was very familiar with that particular screw up. </p><p>For the first time since they’d been kidnapped and stuffed in everyone’s favorite burial chamber, Juno woke up before Nureyev. He blinked his eyes open expecting to see him in his usual position sitting against the wall with whatever new face he’d decided to go with that day. Instead, he saw Peter Nureyev shivering on the small bedroll beside him. </p><p>He saw <em> Peter Nureyev. </em></p><p>Sometime in the night he must have shifted back, probably without meaning too, if Juno had to guess. Maybe the strain of his constantly changing appearance had finally taken its toll. Maybe it was the scars that didn’t seem to go away between new faces. Either way, Peter Nureyev was unsoundly sleeping next to Juno. </p><p>He knew what he should do. He should wake Nureyev up and tell him his disguise has dropped and watch the man he’d first seen in that hotel room what felt like years ago disappear. But Juno Steel had never been very good at listening to anyone, especially himself. </p><p>He stared at Nureyev almost hungrily, knowing this might be the last time he’d ever see his real face depending on what Miasma did with them once she made her own mindreading growth. Back before, at the Oasis, Juno’d had barely a breath to catalogue Nureyev’s appearance before he’d shifted back. Here, he had a lot longer than that. </p><p>Juno gazed at the shape of Nureyev’s chin, the bridge of his nose. He resisted the urge to reach out and trace it with his fingers, worried any disturbance would wake him up. His only regret was that he couldn’t see that deep brown color of his eyes with them closed in sleep. </p><p>But then Juno got a hold of himself. What was he doing? Maybe he was finally going stir crazy. He shook his head clear and reached a hand out to wake Nureyev up. The minute Juno’s hand touched his shoulder he jolted upright. He didn’t seem to realize the face he was wearing was his own. </p><p>“Juno, what—?”</p><p>Juno made a vague gesture to his face, “You might wanna do something about that.”</p><p>Nureyev understood immediately. All at once, the features that Juno couldn’t stop thinking about melted away, replaced by a much more square chin and much harsher cheekbones. This person’s eyes were more red than brown. Juno felt a pang in his chest that he didn’t feel like examining. </p><p>“I must have...lapsed while sleeping.” He looked a little dazed, like he’d been hit over the head with a shovel and didn’t know how to feel about it. Juno knew that feeling well. “Thank you for letting me know.”</p><p>Juno peered at him, suddenly curious about something. “Can you not—” he searched for the right word, “—feel what you look like?”</p><p>Nureyev’s expression focused slightly more, “Unfortunately no. It makes things rather difficult when if I’m ever incapacitated or having memory troubles. Luckily I have an excellent memory.”</p><p>“And so humble too,” Juno snorted. </p><p>Nureyev grinned and Juno could see that his teeth were much blunter than most of his other faces. “But confidence is so much more attractive.” </p><p>“Sure, if you’re into obnoxious types,” but Juno could tell his cheeks were red. <em> Damn it, Steel, what the hell are you doing?  </em></p><p>He didn’t have to give himself an answer because Miasma’s goons burst in to take them away once again. He was getting real tired of that. </p><hr/><p>Juno could pretty solidly say that he wasn’t all that present for the next week of captivity. He’d gone inside Nureyev’s head twice, Nureyev had left him bleeding in their cell, Nureyev had come back by some miracle, and he’d managed to kill Miasma without killing himself (which might’ve been the hardest thing to accept on that list). </p><p>Once they’d made it to the hotel in Hyperion City that was nicer than anywhere Juno had ever ended up staying, he immediately started peeling off the clothes that now clung to his body like a second skin. They were covered in blood and sweat and that red dust that got into everything on Mars. </p><p>Nureyev had bought him a change of clothes from the thrift store down the road from the emergency room they’d gone to to get Juno’s eye checked out. (Juno had been surprised when he’d come back after the treatment was done. He hadn’t expected Nureyev to want to stick around). Not only were the clothes his size, but they also didn’t carry the same flair for the dramatic he expected out of Nureyev’s usual style. No, these were practical. A black turtleneck like four others Juno owned, and a pair of cargo pants with too many pockets. There was also a pair of boxers but Juno forewent taking his underwear off in front of Nureyev, even with his back turned. </p><p>It wasn’t until he’d finished putting the clothes on that he realized how silent Nureyev had been. When he finally turned around, it was Peter Nureyev staring at him with something like trepidation in his eyes. “This is quite the hotel. I, for one, am looking forward to a good night’s sleep. It’s been weeks.”</p><p>Juno heard himself reply, but he couldn’t really process what he was saying. All of his focus was on Nureyev, just like every time he’d seen his real face. He was trying to play it off, the enormity of willingly pulling back all of his masks, but Juno could tell there was an anxious energy in his eyes. He wasn’t used to being so bare-faced with people. Maybe it had something to do with the prolonged near death experience, but Juno figured he’d managed to make himself quite the exception. </p><p>When Nureyev kissed him and Juno brought his hands up to him, it was the face of the man he’d kissed what seemed like years ago. This time there was no shift happening underneath his fingers. This time, Nureyev didn’t have to fear a lapse in control. They could just be, existing in the same space as each other in their battered and broken bodies. </p><p>As the night went on, Juno came to regret putting his clothes back on. </p><hr/><p>Peter Nureyev woke up alone. </p><p><em> Peter Nureyev </em>woke up alone. Not Duke Rose or Perseus Shah or any of the other people that sometimes stood in Peter Nureyev’s place. </p><p>He’d almost woken sometime in the night to the sound of Juno going out the door, but he’d been too tired to properly process what was happening (or he hadn’t wanted to accept what he knew to be true. Peter was fairly adept at lying to himself at this point. Why stop now?). Despite the mumbled, “Juno,” he’d given to no response, it was still as if he’d just unexpectedly fallen from a very great height when he reached out and found no other body waiting for him. </p><p>Juno had left the clothes he’d bought for him, but that appeared to be the only thing he’d left. Well, he’d left Peter. </p><p>No, he wasn’t going to think about that. <em> This was inevitable </em> , he tried to tell himself, <em> Did you really think he would go traipsing about the galaxy with you? </em>His thoughts began veering in directions he’d made a point not to go in many years. These twisting corridors were filled with self-loathing and doubt, both things that Nureyev had filed away long ago. </p><p>One thought in particular kept repeating in his mind. He was currently himself, in a way he hadn’t been in so long. He was wearing the face that had grown with him since he was born. This was the face that had lived on Brahma all those years ago. This was the face that had killed Mag. And Juno Steel had left. Despite his haste to fold the thought to the very back of his mind, he couldn’t help but feel as if the two were connected. </p><p>Ridiculous. Not only had Juno seen his true face before, but he knew his original features were handsome. If Juno left it likely had everything to do with him being a crass and self-centered lady and nothing to do with Peter. This is what he kept trying to tell himself. </p><p>But the thought lingered. He’d assumed Juno had seen what happened with the Guardian Angel System when he’d peered into his memories. If that were the case, then Juno had seen Peter Nureyev kill the man who’d almost been a father to him. The Juno Peter knew was too morally righteous to accept a murder of that manner. Of course, the Juno Peter knew may not have left him laying in an empty hotel bed in a city that had sunk its claws so deeply into his skin that he couldn’t extricate himself. </p><p>This was pointless. Juno Steel was gone. Peter Nureyev was sitting up in an empty hotel room in a city with nothing but pain. There were things to be done, shuttles to catch, jobs to complete. Before he addressed any of that, however, Peter shifted into someone else, letting his features rearrange unrecognizably. </p><p>At that moment, he made a promise to himself. He had many things to do, but he would not be doing them as Peter Nureyev ever again. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! if you would like to feel more things about peter nureyev then i recommend checking out the other fics i have in the "Peter Nureyev's Onion-like Layers" tag</p><p>you can find me on <a href="https://twitter.com/GHOSTZVNE">twitter!</a> where i'm frequently emotional about all things juno steel (sometimes there's some second citadel in there too) </p><p>also i realized i never shoutout my betas! so thanks so much to my roommate and my girlfriend who literally always read my fanfiction and help me get it ready to post, even tho my girlfriend in particular has never listened to juno steel. you're both lights in my life!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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